Beat the bishop, choke the chicken, abusing the wicked stick, date Rosie Palm and her five sisters, beat the meat, drain the monster, flog the log, paddle the pickle, beat the stick, yank your plank and the list of euphemisms for male masturbation go on and on. So what does it tell you? We like to get off!
Most men start masturbating at an early age, while women tend to start at a later age. Women also tend to masturbate less than men. This could be do to basic sex drive. Women’s fluctuating hormones tend to make their desire for sex not as constant as men’s. Another reason maybe simply that a men’s sexual apparatus are on the outside of our body so we tend to focus on the pleasure it gives us from a very young age.
So whether you yank, you pull, hump a pillow, or use a Fleshlight, or a stroker, or some other technique or apparatus, what is normal and how much is too much?
The great news is that most experts won’t offer specific definitions of “normal” and “abnormal,” pointing out that men show great variations in both frequency and technique.
“We humans are too diverse to establish a norm,” says Betty Dodson, PhD, a New York City-based sexologist and the author of Sex for One. Every man masturbates in his own way, says Martha Cornog, the author of The Big Book of Masturbation, whether he “uses his hands, rubs against something, uses a sex toy or household object, wears special clothing, fantasizes, looks at a book or magazine, tries different positions, or looks in a mirror.”
Unlike sex with a partner, masturbation can’t give you a sexually transmitted disease. Nor will it subject you to awkward moments that can come with partner sex. But masturbation safety isn’t guaranteed.
“Masturbation is just about the safest sex there is,” says Cornog. “But the laws of physics and biology don’t stop operating just because someone is masturbating.”
Frequent or overly vigorous masturbation can irritate the skin of the penis, as the average guy knows all too well.
“Less well known is that habitually masturbating face down — for example, by thrusting against a sheet, pillow, or even a carpeted floor — can injure the urethra in such a way that urine exits the penis not in a stream but in a hard-to-control spray,” says Barbara Bartlik, MD, a psychiatrist and sex therapist in New York City. She says she’s seen facedown masturbators with urethral trauma so severe that they are no longer able to use a urinal and must urinate while seated.
Then there are men who become so obsessed with solo sex that they begin to lose interest in having sex with a partner. But is that such a bad thing for them or us?
Others find the masturbation improves sex with a partner. It helps teach men (and women) about what feels good to them and what doesn’t so they will be better able to communicate that to their partners. It also helps men learn to recognize the “moment of inevitability” just before orgasm and helps teach them how to avoid premature ejaculation. And it’s a great coping mechanism for any man whose partner is temporarily unavailable for sex or who has a sex drive that doesn’t quite match his own.
Men have been taking care of “business” since the dawn of time, and many have devised strategies to enhance the experience. Following are a few you may or may not have tried.
Lubricate your hand and your wrist. With your fingers facing your perineum, grip your penis from the front (with your thumb in your pubic hair. Kneel on a bed or the floor and thrust into your hand and along the wrist so your wrist rubs against the underside head of your penis.
The testicles are often left out while masturbating, but this masturbation technique gives you the tools to maximize this sensitive and sensual zone. Lubricate your penis and scrotum. With your hand grasping your penis, point your index finger toward your scrotum. Your thumb and forefinger should be closest to your body. Allow your thumb and forefinger to slide down as far as they can go in a stroke toward the scrotum. Your other hand is now free to do what you will with your testicles — be it a deep massage, a tug, a tickle, whatever feels good and stimulates.
Squeeze a bit more fun out of your manhood with this stellar masturbation technique called “wringing”. Lubricate your penis. Using both hands, one at the bottom and one at the top of the penis, gently wring in opposite directions. Use the motion from bottom to top as if you were wringing out a cloth — squeeze the semen out, not in. .
Lubrication is optional with the “butt spread”. On a comfortable surface, sit on your heels with each heel gently spreading your butt cheeks (comfortably, don’t overstretch as you may cause yourself pain unless you are in to that). Masturbate as you wish, using any of the above techniques or with your usual method. When you are about to ejaculate, spread your cheeks and feel the deep orgasm stem from your perineum. (There is a pressure point in the center of your perineum that creates more intense orgasms).
“Milking” you again lube up, then ditting in a relaxed position, using both hands one at a time, squeeze and pull up the length of your penis and over the top. If you’ve got extra skin (read: uncircumcised) you can also pull the extra skin up and over the head of the penis when you pull up. Repeat as necessary, and as slowly or quickly as you like.
If you haven’t tried a masturbation sleeve there are some inexpensive ones, but the best on the market is Fleshlight.
Fleshlights are from a patented, high-quality material designed to replicate the sensation of penetrative sex. The molded sleeve comes housed in a sturdy canister that resembles an ordinary flashlight, allowing for simple and discreet storage. It’s easy to use and clean, and is 100 percent safe. There are several orifices such as Mouth, Vagina and Butt. The sleeves themselves come in several textures: tight, super tight, speed bump and super ribbed. Some even have built in vibrators. If you haven’t tried one you should.
As for the benefits of masturbation, other than the obvious – feels good, reduces stress, helps you fall asleep – does it prevent prostate cancer? The jury is out on that one. There are studies that say it reduces the risk for prostate cancer, and studies that say it increases it.
According to a study published in BJU International, researchers found that frequent masturbation in young men raised the risk for prostate cancer but that frequent masturbation in older men lowered the risk. Sexual intercourse did not affect prostate cancer risk.
The researchers theorize that it may not be the masturbation itself which is increasing risk of prostate cancer in men who masturbate frequently in their 20s and 30s. Men who masturbate more may do so because they have high levels of male sex hormones — and young men genetically predisposed to have hormone-sensitive prostate cancer will be at higher risk if they have more male hormones. In men over age 50, the researchers theorize, frequent masturbation helps drain the prostate of fluids that may contain cancer-causing substances.
Bottom line – you don’t need a reason to masturbate. So yank, slap, tickle – do whatever gets you off!
